It irks me when someone tells me “Oh, you’re such a good father!” when they see me out and about with my son.
Do I have your attention? Good.
I’m know I’m not the first to notice this. And I know I won’t be the last.
Why does this bother me so?
Because all I do either in public or in private is the parent my son.
That’s it. Really.
- I pay attention and interact with him, and not my phone.
- I try to bring him with me everywhere I can just so we can hang out and maybe learn something.
- I use situations as lessons when appropriate.
- I discipline him when necessary.
- I try not to leave it up to my wife to do everything.
And most importantly:
- I love the little bugger, and I love him fiercely.
In 2017, apparently, a man being a parent is all it takes to be considered a good father.
The bar had been set so low by forces outside of our control, everyone’s perception is completely screwed up.
I hung out at the pool with my son over the weekend, chilling with a guy who also lives in the building and his two kids that he obviously loves.
Does spending time with our kids make us “good fathers,” or just fathers?
Dad is supposed to be a moron, right? A big, usually fat slob who wouldn’t wipe his own arse without his sassy, long-suffering wife cracking the whip. And certainly unable to properly raise a kid.
Indeed, dad is incapable.
Or worse, dad is a potential abuser, molester, and even a killer in waiting.
Blame TV, movies, feminists, marketing gurus, the government, and all of the other usual suspects for this cultural insanity that’s turned dad into both an idiot and the enemy. I really don’t care who holds the smoking gun. I care about the consequences.
Dad is worthy of nothing but contempt. Even if reality doesn’t match.
Yes, there are some idiot dads. And some downright bad ones. One such dad is too many.
Yet a question no one on broader society asks is: are all mothers, by definition, good?
Our family law system even promotes this bias.
It’s curious how fathers are one of the few groups exempt from the “But not all!” benefit of the doubt, isn’t it?
Single-motherhood is promoted as superior–I mean is dad even necessary, am I right?
Well-meaning entities and people do this as well. Your church, especially if you’re a mainline Protestant, probably talks about how women are naturally “closer to God” or whatever bullshit they say, and that they need to drag men kicking and screaming into the light.
No wonder some fathers, and some men in general, are checking out. Even when they’re trying their best, they’re still considered idiots.
And yet, the “good father” appellation is supposed to make us feel all warm and fuzzy about ourselves. But what does it even mean?
Nothing. As commonly used, it means nothing. Like nearly everything else in this country, maybe even in this world, it’s been dumbed-down and bastardized to the point of irrelevancy.
I’ve said it before, though, and it bears repeating here: Even though I love being a father, I also love going against the grain out of pure spite. Because screw the powers-that-be, that’s why.
Here are some good fatherhood-based websites that won’t patronize you:
And check out my Instagram here.