It’s Sunday, and I’m seeing more ridiculous and blasphemous shoehorning of Jesus Christ into political issues by people who hate Jesus Christ and God the Father who sent him, so I think it’s the perfect time for another installment of Ask A Christian. Because the world has seen too much of this guy as of late:
It could be some moron of any political stripe, but if you’re honest with yourself, you know that in America, while not perfect Christians (because nobody is), the American political right is mostly Christian and the American political left is not only mostly not Christian, there is a large and vocal element that hates Christianity and Christians.
Don’t argue with me on this because it’s true. The four or five exceptions you can think about prove noting. It is as impossible to graft Christianity onto radical leftist reality-denying libertine communist politics as it is to Mammon-worshipping Austrian economic Ayn Randian/William Buckley-style “greed is good” conservatism. We’ll come back to this.
Anyway, here are some gross–and I do mean gross–misconceptions I’ve been seeing about Jesus Christ and His followers lately. They’re really stupid and really infuriating.
“Jesus was a brown-skinned Jew!”
First, look at this picture:
Who do you think this is? I’ll bet you said “Jesus.” If you did, you’re wrong.
A forensic anthropologist created a model, basically an artist’s interpretation, of what a typical Galilean might have looked like from an actual Galilean skull. It was not intended to be a recreation of Jesus, just a typical Galilean.
Don’t lie though–you probably said “Jesus.”
That’s the power of media mind control: at the time, every headline screamed “SCIENTISTS RECREATE WHAT JESUS LOOKED LIKE!” and that falsehood became the story everyone remembers.
Fact is, nobody knows exactly what Jesus looked like.
Fact is, Jesus probably wasn’t “brown-skinned” as low-IQ race-obsessed Americans conceptualize “brown skin.” I have basically the same skin tone as this image, maybe a hair darker . . . and when I’m in the sun a lot, I get a lot darker. And I neither Jewish nor Arab nor Hispanic nor any other kind of race we call “brown skin.”
So this is just a stupid “own” by idiots who hate Christians because they assume all Christians are racist and:
(a) Don’t realize Jesus was a Galilean;
(b) Don’t understand He likely didn’t look like how he’s portrayed in a lot of Western iconography; and
(c) Would be somehow bothered by the fact that Jesus was a Jew of the Levant.
Fact is, nobody seems to care exactly what Jesus looked like except for evil idiots who hate Him. So if you’re using this talking point to insult Christians, you’re just an asshole.
“Don’t you realize Jesus was an anti-Roman, anti-government rebel who was murdered by an oppressive state for trying to bring power to the people?”
Here’s an accurate representation of the kind of people who make statements like this:
This is so unbearably moronic on so many levels, the people who say stuff like this are either really, really stupid, are liars, have never read the Bible, or are really, really stupid liars who have never read the Bible. Everyone from Internet progressives and atheist edgelords to libertarian and conservatives weenies to Christ-haters like Ben Shapiro parrot variations of this theme.
They’re all wrong, and they’re liars.
For starters, Christ cared little for the Roman occupation of what once was Israel. He has shockingly little to say about the Romans aside from Mark 12:17. Jesus was pretty cordial to the Romans He met, like the centurion whose servant He healed. Jesus said nothing about “freeing” the Jews, He said nothing about fighting Roman occupation, and He was not executed for being an anti-Roman rebel.
Jesus was not a criminal in the eyes of the Romans.
If anyone has actually read the Bible, they’d know that Roman governor Pontius Pilate did not want to execute Christ! Pilate tried everything–appeasing the Jews, having Herod deal with Him, beating the hell out of Him hoping that this punishment would appease the Jews.
But no. So finally, in order to avoid rioting from the contentious citizens of that occupied land, Pilate agreed to crucify Christ–at the Jews’ behest!–and then washed his hands of it . . . literally.
So, who was Jesus really against? His own people, the Jews! That’s right: Christ’s ire was directed at the corrupt chief priests and scribes of the Temple, the Pharisees and Sadducees.
Jesus Christ had nothing to do with politics, nor was he against “the state,” unless you consider the religious authorizes “the state.”
Ben Shapiro apparently does though, since he thinks Jesus Christ was just a criminal who got executed “for his troubles.”
“Don’t you think if He were here that Jesus would be marching with Black Lives Matter?”
No. He is the Son of God, and if He were here, we’d know.
I’ll indulge this idiocy for a moment though: no, Christ wouldn’t be involved in wanton violence and property damage. End of story. He’d probably tell all the rioters and all the cops to go home and pray to God for forgiveness of their sins.
Let’s go one step further though: Jesus would hate all American politics.
Seriously. Democrats are pro-abortion, so that’s a non-starter right there. But Republicans aren’t off the hook either, because love of money is also a form of wickedness God most certainly does not love.
That’s just scratching the surface.
He wouldn’t be Libertarian either, because Libertarianism’s satanic, Crowley-esque “Do what thou wilt” form of morality is antithetical to Christian teaching.
So we’re all out of luck.
The Bottom Line: Stop shoehorning Jesus Christ unto your awful politics, especially if you’re not even a Christian.
It’s very telling that anti-Christians still feel the need to wrap their awful decisions and life choices in the mantle of Christian morality, twisting and subverting Christ to make it seem like He totally approves of their vices and sin.
Almost as if they . . . fear His judgment.
The next time some dork tries this on you, administer the Witch Test.
Thanks to Brian Niemeier, we have a near foolproof way to see if your assailant is sincere or not. Simply demand that they confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and God the Father raised Him from the dead.
If they refuse or try to dodge by saying “That’s between me and God” or “Judge not lest you be judged,” you’ve got a witch on your hands and have no obligation to take them seriously or sincerely.
Unless you’re actually in favor of a Christian theocracy–which actually seems like it might beat the alternatives presented to us–keep Christ out of your awful, awful politics.