You Legitimately Hate to See It

Beloved franchises and intellectual properties are all the Hollywood machine wants, because they’re lazy. They can expend minimal effort in drumming up interest in their projects. A known quantity, a beloved franchise, a name they can trade on, becomes the skinsuit that these weirdos can wear while twisting and subverting the works of better men and women into their own bizarre image.

Who needs to create when you can just take over? I mean, the fans are just going to pay for this stuff anyway.

Such is the case with the legacy of one J.R.R. Tolkien. I’ve written before about how movies based on his worksgood movies–could never be made today, and how mediocre hacks with weak chins and bad physiques long to tear down Mr. Tolkien’s noble works. Well, with Tolkien’s son and literary heir Christopher no longer able to police the fruits of his father’s soul on account of his death early last year, the locusts will finally have their chance. From Bounding Into Comics via Vox Day:

“This is going to be very different from The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings, which are on the road stories. Stories of companionship, stories that take place on journey, but this one is going to be set up like Game of Thrones. We are going to be following different characters in different locations who are going to converge on each other in the end.”

[YouTuber Gary Buechler, aka Nerdrotic] continues, “They aren’t going to have any Hobbits. There aren’t going to be any wizards. They are going to have, like they said, new characters and new lands. And that is where the big problem is. This is a giant blank canvas. This takes place over thousands of years and that giant blank canvas is going to be filled in with a couple of young, inexperienced showrunners. Does that sound a little bit familiar to you?”

“And those untested showrunners, who have admittedly an experienced writers room with writers from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, are going to have to fill a lot of time with drama and relationship stuff. Modern relationship stuff. And let’s not even get into the dialogue, which you won’t be able to adapt because there really isn’t any like there is in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.” Buechler states.

He then makes comparisons to Game of Thrones, “As you all know things were going great for Game of Thrones through Season 4 until Dan and Dave passed up the books and they couldn’t adapt George’s dialogue anymore. And they tried to interpret what George might have wanted. And George is alive. They could have asked him anything at any time and they still produced the biggest disaster in television history.”

Buechler then questions, “How do you think it’s going to go for [JD Payne] and [Patrick McKay] over there? Obviously, they don’t have J.R.R. Tolkien to talk to. They no longer have the greatest guardian of his father’s work and one of the greatest sons whose ever lived, Christopher Tolkien to talk to either.”

The YouTuber then points to a rumor, covered here on Bounding Into Comics, that there was a shift in the direction of the show following Christopher Tolkien’s death.

Buechler states, “Then, of course, there was the rumored big shift behind the scenes right after Christopher Tolkien’s death. He died in January 2020 and in March 2020 it was rumored from TheOneRing.net that a lot of the writers were fired and they rewrote Season 1 and they removed Tom Shippey, the Tolkien scholar.”

Next, Buechler warns, “And that brings us to the politicking. Are we going to get the nihilist, post-modern, intersectional Lord of the Rings. I think this is a good possibility considering everything we’ve seen from modern Hollywood. Then there’s the fact that we already have a nihilist, post-modern, Lord of the Rings, it was called Game of Thrones.”

Buechler then recaps many of his concerns about the show pointing to rumors of nudity, the hiring of an intimacy coordinator, the change in story structure, and the show being run by two former Bad Robot employees.

He then adds a report that Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos mandated Amazon create their own version of Game of Thrones. That report came from Variety and they claimed, “The mandate from Jeff Bezos is clear: Bring me “Game of Thrones.” That’s the word that has the creative community buzzing this week about a major strategy shift underway for Amazon Studios’ original series efforts.” 

In related news, the Tolkien Society’s newest call for papers is for a summer seminar called “Tolkien and Diversity“:

While interest in the topic of diversity has steadily grown within Tolkien research, it is now receiving more critical attention than ever before. Spurred by recent interpretations of Tolkien’s creations and the cast list of the upcoming Amazon show The Lord of the Rings, it is crucial we discuss the theme of diversity in relation to Tolkien. How do adaptations of Tolkien’s works (from film and art to music) open a discourse on diversity within Tolkien’s works and his place within modern society? Beyond his secondary-world, diversity further encompasses Tolkien’s readership and how his texts exist within the primary world. Who is reading Tolkien? How is he understood around the globe? How may these new readings enrich current perspectives on Tolkien?

Representation is now more important than ever and Tolkien’s efforts to represent (or ignore) particular characteristics requires further examination. Additionally, how a character’s identity shapes and influences its place within Tolkien’s secondary-world still requires greater attention. This seminar aims to explore the many possible applications of “diversity” within Tolkien’s works, his adaptations, and his readership.

Papers may consider, but are not limited to:

• Representation in Tolkien’s works (race, gender, sexuality, disability, class, religion, age etc.)

• Tolkien’s approach to colonialism and post-colonialism

• Adaptations of Tolkien’s works

• Diversity and representation in Tolkien academia and readership

• Identity within Tolkien’s works

• Alterity in Tolkien’s works

Questions nobody asks, of course, include “Why is ‘representation’ important” and “Why must past works conform to modern bugman sensibilities?”

We–meaning “anyone with a modicum of pattern-recognition ability who has been paying attention for the past 30 years”–know exactly what this all means, because we’ve all seen this movie before:

  • Find beloved franchise created by a white person
  • Attack franchise for being “too white” and “not inclusive”
  • Hire people who hate this franchise to create new projects based upon said franchise
  • Lose tons and tons of money and customer goodwill
  • Double down because you will always have financial backing from the big money power players who love doing stuff like this
  • Leave a festering cesspool where beloved franchise used to be
  • Find a new franchise, rinse, and repeat

You have to understand that the destruction and desecration is this point. I hold out zero hope that this time it’ll be different because it never is.

Making money is not high on the list of priorities. Sure, money helps, and way too many dupes will pay for this stuff anyway at the beginning just to see if it’s really that bad. They’ll complain after, but the point is Amazon will already have their cash.

Stop eating the slop thrown before you.

Why do we continually let these people ruin what we love? Soon, there’ll be new versions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy with sassy WoC elves demonstrating how Aragorn was the real bad guy and how Arwen isn’t even good enough because she has white elf privilege. Frodo and Sam will similarly be deconstructed, or will still be good guys but gay lovers. Sauron will be a benevolent figure fighting against Gondor, which will be a thinly veiled stand-in for Christian Europe, by reconsidering lands that the Gondoran oppressors colonized from the orcs, who will in turn be stand-ins for Africans and Middle Easterners. And speaking of the latter, the Southrons will be portrayed sympathetically.

Sounds ridiculous? Remember this post when the inevitable Lord of the Rings remake drops. If I’m wrong, I’ll buy you a coffee.

Anyway, we’ve seen this all with Star Wars and Star Trek, among other hugely popular franchises. Why would Lord of the Rings be any different. It turns out that an elderly Englishman was truly the finger in the dike of disgusting wokeness.

“Why don’t they just make their own stories?” you might wonder. It’s because they can’t. They suck. Plus, they get a sexual thrill out of ruining that which is Good, Beautiful, and True. Lord of the Rings is all three. It really is that simple.

Don’t feed into this. Your favorite franchises are dead. Move on. And anyway, you always have the books. They can’t take those away from you as long as you buy physical copies.

And now, some predictions . . .

The next franchises that will be destroyed will be, in no particular order, Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, and the inevitable remake of Twilight.


I don’t hate you. I respect you. Support an independent alternative to brand zero corporate slop here.

5 comments

    • Yes.

      The entire intention of post modernism is to destroy, not create.

      They want to tear down everything sacred.

      They’re all empty people with no ideas who hate anyone who still has their soul.

      Like

  1. Alexander,

    The scariest expression in art: It’s transgressive!

    You make a cogent point about weak people, physically and morally, simply can’t produce anything and must parasite the good, beautiful and true. Vox’s naming them as locusts is apt.

    The challenge we have to produce more and faster than they can destroy.

    A cultural arms race

    xavier

    Like

  2. What they’re going to do with J.R.R. Tolkien in the next few years is going to make Peter Jackson look like Christopher Tolkien.

    Why he didn’t put his father’s work into the public domain when he retired is beyond me. At least then it would have had some level of protection by the public diluting the profitability of the brand.

    Like

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