The Paradox of Manhood: Thoughts on “Red Pill,” Mastery, and “Being a Man.”

Men: Are you a “cuck”? Are you a “beta”? Does the life you’ve been living got to go?

Have you been “red pilled,” or are you still “blue pilled”? Is our increasingly feminized society beating you down? Are you a victim of circumstance? Do you even know what the hell it is I’m talking about?

I described the “red pill” in my post “World of Illusions: 5 Lies We Tell Ourselves (And What to Do About Them)“:

[“Red pill” is] named after a scene in the popular sci-fi movie The Matrix, which came out when I was still in high school and good God do I feel old. Anyway, the idea is that everybody else is duped and that you are not.

Being “red pilled” isn’t necessarily a bad thing in my opinion, but it can lead to blind spots because

it creates a false sense of security whereby one thinks they are always right. Since few things are “always right” except for the fact that nobody is ever “always right,” this creates dangerous blind spots. You might reject, or not even seek, evidence, or take potential risks seriously, because you already have The Answer.

Lots of men–especially younger men and those burned by divorce, infidelity, or the law stripping them of their rights to see their children–describe themselves like this, seeing the “true” nature of women and the system, and acting accordingly. They also tend to wear fedoras and–

All right, enough snideness. I’m not going for the low-hanging fruit. You might think it hypocritical that the guy who wrote about men being trapped in a cage of safety or being afraid to take risks is poking fun at the men’s right movement or whatever you want to call it.

morpheus-the-matrix-red-pill-and-blue-pill

Well, for starters, I sympathize a lot with these men and their movement. It is a rational, foreseeable reaction to insane third-wave feminism run amok. So I hope that they take the jokes in the spirit in which they are intended.

Second, I’ve never accused women as a whole of being responsible for the degradation of manhood, or the ruination of Western civilization. After all, a lot of men have a vested interest in this as well. Divide and conquer so you can grab power, whether it’s by race or by gender or any other way we distinguish people and pit them against each other. The kicker is that the people who push these destructive ideas and foster animosity and distrust between men and women usually don’t even live the way they expect us to. What hypocrites.

But I’m going to speak to the men, because it is a gender I have more experience being. And while I have some sympathy with men’s rights activists and the MGTOW (men going their own way; that is, men foregoing women, sex, and reproduction as a way of protest) movement, on the whole it makes me sad.

Yes, a lot of laws and societal norms are stacked against men’s interests, but this is not the work of womanhood as a whole. It’s the work of activists, men and women, who want to reshape society into something more in tune with their personal political beliefs, many of which go against human nature. And second, I feel for guys that have had a bad experiences with women–we all have–but it makes me sad because to give up on a relationship and potentially having a family is very tragic indeed.

Also, it’s sort of the thinking that the stereotypical man-hating bull-dyke radical lesbian feminist decried by the men’s rights crowd is presumed to think, turning to that life due to bad experiences with men.

Anyway, as somebody who has teetered on this edge of “going his own way,” only to reclaim himself, and also as an older member of a generation struggling to know and understand what “being a man” means, I’m here to share the insights I’ve faced in my struggles. And I can boil it down into three key points:

  1. Don’t be a pleaser
  2. Become a master
  3. Women are not your enemy

Continue reading “The Paradox of Manhood: Thoughts on “Red Pill,” Mastery, and “Being a Man.””

World of Illusions: 5 Lies We Tell Ourselves (And What to Do About Them)

We are awash in illusion. Today is no worse than yesterday in this regard, except now there is technology which can help push this illusion to ever greater heights of realism.

But worse than these are the illusions we create for ourselves. It’s bad enough that the world at large is trying to trick us, isn’t it? And yet in many ways we are our own worst enemies.

There is so much about our lives that is up to random chance and statistical probabilities. The rest of it is really up to us. And yet we handicap ourselves by spinning elaborate webs of self-deception that might help us navigate the world, but don’t really do anything to make our lives, or the lives of others, any better.

I’m no genius, but what I am is a flawed individual just like you. Here are five common illusions we create for ourselves, based on personal experience, and what we can do about them. Continue reading “World of Illusions: 5 Lies We Tell Ourselves (And What to Do About Them)”

Spitting Girls and Jane Austen: A Tale of Miscommunication

It’s funny how often life imitates art. Or maybe it’s the timeless, universal nature of good art that brings to mind past instances in your own life that resonate with what you see or hear or read. Whatever the case, I had this experience recently and it brings to mind a story with a lesson from my own past. 

As I’ve written before, I recently started reading Jane Austen for the first time. These moves are full of insights about human nature, but this one from Pride and Prejudice stuck with me. 

You don’t need plot details other than that two characters are taking about mistaken affection, and how men often are not aware they are acting in a flirtatious manner:

“We must not be so ready to fancy ourselves intentionally injured. We must not expect a lively young man to be always so guarded and circumspect. It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceived us. Women fancy admiration means more than it does.”

“And men take care that they should.”

Now I’m not a dating guru or a pick-up guy or whatever. I’ve been married for six years to a woman I began dating in 2007, and only had two serious long-term relationships before her (one for five years, the other for ten months). Hell, I didn’t even have a girlfriend until I was 19, so take my advice with a grain of salt. 

But young men need to be careful of how they act around the opposite sex, as it is very easy to send messages you don’t even realize you are transmitting. Let me explain.  Continue reading “Spitting Girls and Jane Austen: A Tale of Miscommunication”

Religion versus Human Nature

hand of god

I saw an interesting tweet the other day. I’m paraphrasing, but it said something to the effect that Christianity is flawed because it holds that humanity is flawed. Therefore, any belief system that holds this flawed nature of humanity as a fundamental principle is destined to fail.

I reject this sentiment wholeheartedly. Hold on; there’s a lot to unpack here.

First, this sentiment logically implies that, if Christianity is flawed for this reason, so should the other two well-known Abrahamic faiths, as at least one of them is based on the same creation story. Second, I have to wonder about any religion that does posit humanity as perfect and complete. Even the pagans praying to rocks or whatever were seeking some kind of help that they couldn’t get on their own.

I’ve already discussed how Christianity is different from paganism, as Christians don’t pray to God to persuade him to do stuff for us. But that’s not the important question. What I’m thinking about is the fundamental nature of human beings.

If you ask me, any religion that doesn’t recognize the flawed nature of humanity is not worth your time. Continue reading “Religion versus Human Nature”

Book Review: Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

Jane Austen is chick lit.

Yeah, I know. So the next question is: Why is such a manly man of manliness like me reading her?

Let’s get some stuff out of the way first: My brother, who is also quite manly, enjoyed and highly recommended her. And then there’s my good buddy the author, English scholar, and manly man who recommended them to me. So my manly credentials remain intact.

And second, most importantly, if something is good, it’s good, regardless if I’m a member of its so-called intended audience.

I recently finished reading Sense and Sensibility, Austen’s first novel, and let me tell you, it’s good. And I think men should read this book, and Jane Austen in general. Why?

Because it’s good for men to read things written by women to understand their perspective.

There. I said it. No, I haven’t gone full feminist. But I am concerned by how messed up man-woman relations are in the twenty-first century. In reading Sense and Sensibility, I’m struck by how nice it is to enjoy a story where men are manly and women are womanly, each sex exhibiting strengths, weaknesses, and in general complimenting each other the way those in healthy relationships should. Throw away all of the social stuff regarding the limited opportunities for women at that time and enjoy the story for what it is. Continue reading “Book Review: Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen”

Why #DNCLeaks Won’t Change Anybody’s Mind

Wikileaks search the DNC leaks

If you follow politics on the Internet–since the mainstream media is covering up this story–you’re aware that the professional muckrakers at Wikileaks yesterday released almost 20,000 emails from members of the Democratic National Convention. These emails show, among other things, how the DNC colluded with the media to defeat Bernie Sanders and helping ensure that Hillary Clinton received the Democrat Party nomination for President.

None of this is really a surprise to anyone who has been following this election, or American politics in general. The media is aligned with the Democrat party and coordinate stories with them? You don’t say.

The difference is that past belief was based on circumstantial evidence. This is all direct.

WikiLeaks

But I’m not here to talk about the political angle. One, it’s not surprising to me, and two, Mike Cernovich at Danger and Play has been doing a much better job of discussing the details of the emails.

This story has many other fascinating layers to it, and I’m interested in it less for the politics and more for the insights into human nature.

Mind you, this is just based on my own observations about human nature. I am not a professional psychologist or psychiatrist, nor do I want to be.

With that disclaimer out of the way, here’s my conclusion about what these leaks mean:

I don’t think that the information contained in these leaks, showing the corruption of the DNC, the media, and the Clinton campaign, will change anybody’s mind. Continue reading “Why #DNCLeaks Won’t Change Anybody’s Mind”